I have substitutes for activities

Which are time consuming and expensive

And of uncertain benefit

First, rearrange furniture

If you move a table it’s as good as psychoanalysis

Buy something

Anything

It’s more satisfying than four years of college

Get into a fight

And have as much fun as going to New York for the weekend to see a play

Throw yourself into a one-night stand with a man whose last name escapes you

It’s marriage and divorce on fast-forward

Without the lawyer’s fees

Run away from commitment

It’s better than going to the gym