I would have thought

That time passing would

Fade my memory, that

I would shrug and

Let bygones, you know

But instead I google his name,

Track his whereabouts, stalk him on the internet

He is married, lives in Arizona

I am tempted to email his wife.

I found a photo of him from 1962

He is standing with his lacrosse team

Looking beautiful

I remember seeing him that first time

I remember when I fell in love

And I remember when I gave myself into his rapist pimping

Blackmailing hands.

Oh my god, I was so stupid

I remember every moment of that gangbang night

And now, almost 60 years after the event

My anger is still

Vivid and hot.

I still want revenge