I have a sophisticated name for my dreadful

Unease with people

After all these years of parties

Hiding in a corner with a book

Or sneaking out the back door

After years of being shy and strange

I learned I have a psychological problem

Called social anxiety

Which means I do not thrive in convivial groups

So to compensate

I will drink too much and fuck the host in the guest room

On top of all the coats

As an icebreaker.