I am dissatisfied with myself
Petty, fat, ungraceful, soon to be dead
And lightly mourned.
I used to want a big celebration when I died
With four white horses prancing down Main Street
An obelisk and marble urns
Wreaths of flowers and sobbing mourners
And the only reason I now reject
Such a grand deathmarch funeral
And instead choose to ghost my way out of life
Is my fear that
Nobody will come to say goodbye, or worse
People will eat the canapés and leave
Before the speeches, all of which were
Pre-recorded for the occasion.