I am dissatisfied with myself

Petty, fat, ungraceful, soon to be dead

And lightly mourned.

I used to want a big celebration when I died

With four white horses prancing down Main Street

An obelisk and marble urns

Wreaths of flowers and sobbing mourners

And the only reason I now reject

Such a grand deathmarch funeral

And instead choose to ghost my way out of life

Unnoticed

Is my fear that

Nobody will come to say goodbye, or worse

People will eat the canapés and leave

Before the speeches, all of which were

Of course

Pre-recorded for the occasion.