She walks in beauty like the fucking night

I said fifty years ago in California

also today when she tumbled restive

in a hospital bed petting invisible

cats — I can’t believe her hair is still brown —

she will never own a little house

with garden and birds

which is what she wanted

after decades rattling around poor old lady

survival rooms

and now she’s dying

I rubbed her back when she cried in childbirth

today I asked want a back rub

she replied how come there are so many cats

in my bed tonight