In Memoriam

My mother has been dead 15 years.

Seems like only yesterday I sat by her hospital bed while she lay unconscious, pretty much oblivious ever since the doctor gave her that medicine that makes it so you don’t know you’re dying, and Katy was driving up to be with us but hadn’t gotten there yet, and the whole business was pretty uneventful, just when you thought she was dead she shuddered another breath, so I went outside to have a cigarette because I still smoked then, Camels I think, took a bunch of hurried drags and went back inside and don’t you know my mother was gone, deader than a lox, suddenly a waxy golem under rough hospital sheets, and then Katy arrived and the nurses bustled in and fuck I am not crying, well maybe a few scarified tears, maybe the whole world is a few scarified tears, and I am telling you, no matter how nasty or selfish or unloving your mother was, when she is dead it’s a whole nother story, then all you remember is the time you called her because he left and you sobbed on the phone and she said I know he will come back which actually made you feel a lot better and in fact he did come back a few weeks later and stayed.

About Karen To and Fro

Everything you didn't want to know about me!
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