You know those pusses they scat around in frenzy they jump onto the living room drapes hang on with their claws screech bloody murder slide down ripping silk into gruelish shreds then bite you when you try to rescue them, well that’s what I was like freshman year of college except I was the drapes too that got pretty scarified cause you see I just turned 17, fresh from losing my virginity to a 35 year old Haitian named Louis who was fleeing from Papa Duvalier, he wanted to marry me so I wouldn’t go off to college, but I said no, anyway at the beginning of school I told everyone I believed in free love, funny how the boys seemed to appreciate my deep philosophical understanding of sexuality but even so I treated them cold and scored their prowess and was a little mean being superior in the ways of the world until I met Stewart who I fell crazy in love with, he was so beautiful and travelled around with a pimp’s entourage and he paid attention to me and oh my god when it turned out that he actually was a pimp and not above blackmailing me into compliance well all I can say is it’s 60 years later and I am still yowling.